Recovery Day 3

Well LM slept 8 hrs without any pain meds. Decided to start weaning him off the Tylenol 3 and use ibprofen and tylenol for pain management. He seem to be ok with this with very little complaints. He is a lot more active today.

I am not sure if spacing out the meds made it hard to take a nap. But he was unable to take a nap but still did pretty good today. He is still very clingy, I am unable to do anything unless I am in touching range.

We took him to Costco today. He liked getting out. Again I had to push the cart. He still only wants me. Will have to work on him getting some Daddy time so Mom does wear out. My RA is acting up with the extra duties of his care and am trying to take care of myself.

Today PT started acting out. She is tired of him getting all the attention. She says she understands but still acted out. I was able to give her Mommy time and this seemed to help.

LM was back to wanting the rocker tonight. I read a story then he decided he wanted his bed and asked for Dad. So things are slowly getting back to a normal.

Recovery Day 2

The second day of recovery has gone well. I took LM to speech therapy and he still is talking. She noticed that he is a lot more active and seems more into his lessons. Probably due to the lack of active play, I tried to add a little more active play that didn’t involve much worry for me that he would hit his face. We took a short walk and looked at the different things around the house. I also took him out grocery shopping and he seemed to do fine. He said he was ready to go home.

Tonight was PT dance recital, we decided LM could handle going out and see his sister dance. He was a change person. He was interacting with other and seemed to be enjoying himself until he started not listening again and we had to place in between us. He thought he could throw a fit but saw that we didn't react and he would get a time-in if he didn't stop. He sat reluctantly. He did pretty good for him. About half way through he said was done. We ended up distracting him by telling him when his friends and sister were dancing. This helped and we were able to see all PT dances. Her last dance was the second to last one so we knew it was going to be tough for LM.

Recovery Day 1

The first day of recovery went real well. LM is starting to be more himself again. He only asked a couple of times when will be take out the nose stents.

I keep the pain meds on schedule and that seems to help. LM is a little clingy as to be expected. He took a two hour nap and woke up happy. We watched a lot of movies and tried to keep him from hurting himself. It is hard to keep an active boy calm. I forgot how much energy a 5 year has.

I think we have started a new nighttime routine, He grab his blanket and went to the rocking chair and asked to be rocked to sleep. Usually he can’t get comfortable in my lap but the last two nights he falls instantly to sleep. I think it helped to let him sleep without the no-nos. He slept 8 hours with waking only once for bathroom and pain meds.

Surgery May 10, 2011

Well we survived surgery. Everything went as planned. LM was third in line for surgery. His surgery was scheduled for 11 am. So we were able to take PT to school and arrive at CHLA before 9 am.

They have changed up where you waited and used more technology since we were there for PT. I almost forgot that it has been 8 years since PT first surgery @ CHLA. They assign each patient with a number. Then you have a big screen telling you where the patient is at.

LM's surgery was scheduled for 2 hours and he was in the OR for 2 1/4 hours. Dr. Magee came out and said everything went as planned. They narrow the lip and placed nose stents in. I didn't realize that nose revision meant nose stents. Boy was LM mad. He does not like them. As expected he woke up mad and would only calm down for me. He drank an apple juice and had two Popsicles before we left. They sent him home with an apple juice which he proceed to drink on the way home.

He slept a little on the way home but didn't take a nap before bed. They wanted him to wear his no-no at night. LM still uses his thumb for self soothing and was mad that he could suck his thumb. When we got home he said he was hungry. So I made some noodles for him since he can only have soft food for a couple of days. Then I made macaroni and cheese for PT and DH for supper. LM proceed to eat his share of the mac and cheese. While I was with PT in music classes, DH feed him another bowl of noodles and a small bowl of ice cream. I brought him another small dish of ice cream home.

LM had a hard time getting to sleep but finally feel asleep in my arm in the rocking chair. That was a first for him and me. I was able to place him in his bed after a hour asleep in my arms and he sleep for 6 hours.

Surgery Time

The prep has started! LM is schedule for a lip and nose revision on May 10 at CHLA. Now I need to keep my emotions in tact for him. This is his first surgery with his forever family. I remember the emotions I went thru with PT first surgery @ 7 week old. The are different this time. They are not any easier but different. I think what is making it different is my stress level is different this time. I am not worrying about having to go back to work. Even though I was on leave with PT, I was heading back in work a few week later. I can give LM my undivided attention.

Some things are the same. How will he do under anesthesia? How will he handle waking up after surgery? Then the biggie that get me ever time is : Is this truly necessary? I know it is but does not make it any easier!

I hate, let me say that again I hate to see my little ones in pain. I know I have to keep an eye on the pain meds but this is the hard part of surgery no matter how much pain meds you have there is still some pain they only dull it.

Closing thoughts ( More to help me)

Isaiah 43: 2 When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up. The flames will not consume you.

Jeremiah 30:17 "I will restore you to health and heal your wounds," declares the Lord.

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Now I am off to make my checklist and get my surgery pack ready.

Selective Mutism

Finally an update!

We thought we were prepared for everything when coming to adopting our son. We read every book we could read. Trying to remember no two children are the same. We knew about cleft lip and palate before choosing a son with one. In this we knew that not two children are the same. We knew about RAD, AHAD, ADD, PTSD and other adoption related disorders.

But Selective Mutism was never on our radar. We recently have been doing a bunch of research on adoptive children and selective mutism. We are able only to find a little information. We are in new horizons with our son.

I am surprised how this has changed my thinking on what school he should attend. I researched schools when my daughter entered kindergarten thinking that this school will work for my son. I forgot to remember that no two children are the same and research for him I must. My research has taken a different turn than I thought. I have always thought my kids will go to private school. But is that the right choice for my son? He has different needs which is not very well supported in most private school. I have been on so many school tours and getting tired of filling out all these forms for school. I never knew have many forms public school had compared to daughter private school. I have one more school to look at and I am done and waiting for the Lottery to be done at a variety of schools. We may just end up @ a local public school waiting for an opening at the school of choice. At least he will get the services needed that are on campus and does not need to be taken from school to go like he would in private school. This is the hardest decision I have to make in a long time. We want the best for him and will do anything to make sure he has the best education we can give and be a supportive parents to him. I realize no one is perfect but I hate to make the wrong decision.

LM does not do well with change. This is why it is so hard of a decision. He needs a school that goes K-8. Not many of those schools in our area. I am going to trust and put my faith that the right decision will be made and we can move on. LM is a fun bright person whom we love dearly and hope with help we can overcome this.

He Talks

LM is finally talking to his speech therapist and his teachers. It has been a long process but he finally decided talking to others is not so bad. He was slow to talk to us but that only lasted a couple of weeks. He held out for 14 months for his preschool and preK teachers. I was crying when I found out what he was clearly talking about in school. Since we are near Thanksgiving, they are talking about families and the holidays. He drew a family picture with things we do as a family. They have each child talk about what they drew. I figured he would just stand there saying very little like he usually does but I guess he was loud clear and distinct in telling everyone about his family. Not his favorite toy and not favorite things it was his family. What a special little boy we have! We are blessed and thankful for him everyday. We have had our struggles but this little boy loves his family and we love him back.

National Adoption Month

Natural Child: Any child who is not artificial.
Real Parent: Any parent who is not imaginary.
Your Own Child: Any child who is not someone else's child.
Adopted Child: A natural child with a real parent who is my own child.
November is National Adoption Month but our family is blessed by adoption every month! (Borrowed from Beth Gore and P. J. Wolfarth.)



Things to think about:



Every 15 SECONDS, another child becomes an AIDS orphan in Africa



Every DAY 5,760 more children become orphans



Every YEAR 2,102,400 more children become orphans (in Africa alone)



143,000,000 Orphans in the world today spend an average of 10 years in an orphanage or foster home



Approximately 250,000 children are adopted annually, but…



Every YEAR 14,050,000 children still grow up as orphans and AGE OUT of the system



Every DAY 38,493 children AGE OUT



Every 2.2 SECONDS, another orphan child AGES OUT with no family to belong to and no place to call home



I really never thought about the stats on orphans until I was blessed to call one my son. I always knew we would adopt a little one. It is hard to believe that 3 years ago our lives would change. DH said yes to bring LM into our family. The following is some scripture about orphans and openig our hearts:



"Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12



"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you."
John 14:18



"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
James 1:27

One Year Post & First Day Of School

July 13th 2010 came and went by fast. We were on a houseboat trip on Lake Powell. LM really liked the houseboat. He cried going on and cried going off. He really open up on this trip. I do not think he even had any thought on it being his anniversary day with our family. He was having a trip and he was having fun. Even about two months later he is still building houseboat out of his legos. It seemed like he was waiting for his one year anniv. to open up. He talks constantly ever since. Even on our other vacation trip he opened up to all the family members. Will add picture once I get a chance to download them. Having the kids for the summer was hard work and now need to get back to organizing house again.

Today was the first day of PreK for LM. He went in crying and screaming. Hopefully it will be like the houseboat trip and he will be talking to the teacher in no time. He did not talk to his preschool teacher so I am hopeful he has decided to talk to these teachers. I asked for one I knew he was familiar with. Time will tell. He does not do well at first with change. But once he is comfortable he will relax. This is a lot of new things which makes it hard. New teachers, new classroom, new playground, new toys and some new kids. I will know once I pick him up tonight.

Interesting Comments

DH has been getting a lot of comments lately while taking our son out. Once he went to get his hair cut with both kids and the barber asked when did he get rid the first wife and get an Asian one.

The last one that I really find interesting was when he was in line at Disney California Adventure. I had the DD at another ride and he was at Monsters Inc. A lady in line asked him what ethnic background was his wife. DH answered German/Danish decent and yes he is adopted.

It is somewhat nice they think DS is his bio son but I think it will be hard on him as he gets older. Maybe I am taking this out of context but he can't talk for himself now and I see he reacts to it when DH retell me about these comments.

Hearing Checked

It has been awhile since I have posted. Been busy with everything. Theo had his hearing checked again and it is in normal range. He does not need to see an ENT outside his cleft team. Even though we have a daughter with a cleft, you never know what each child will have. We are thankful that only Theo lip and gum line are affected. He will not have the ear issue like his sister. When our daughter was born we knew nothing about cleft lip and palate. She is an inspiration to me to see how much a champion she is at the doctor office. She set such a great example for her brother. She is the reason for her brother and what we would accept in a child. It is sad to think she will have more surgical procedures than him but she has been blessed with the gift of patience when sitting in a doctor chair as they poke and probe her. I am learning lessons from her just as my son is. He adores his sister and she is starting to adore him. It is sweet to see the two of them together. I have been blessed and thank him everyday for these two blessings, one by birth and one by adoption.

Two Years Ago

It is hard to believe that 2 years ago we said yes to adopt a little boy. The process took longer than anticipated but with our first Thanksgiving with him, the wait does not matter any more. We are so thankful for our son and what a joy he has brought to our lives. Princess is still not that thrilled with him but is slowly warming up. She sometimes will comment on the cute things he does. We are also excited that he decided he liked his toddler bed and sleeps in his own room. We found out that he did not like the rails on the bed. This all happened on Thanksgiving. He did wonderful at the dinner and it was great to see that he has not lost his Mandarin. At his preschool, one of the teacher known Mandarin and will talk to him in Mandarin if she thinks he does not understand the English directions. He also has a couple of classmate who first language is also Mandarin so it has helped him know that he is not the only one. He really like the little girl and will say her name when he sees her. It is hard to believe he has only been with us for 4 1/2 months. Times flies when you are having fun. It has not been all kick and giggles but the good times out weigh the troubled ones and his adjustment is going fine. A lot of things are just typical three old behavior and to be expected until language skills are better, They have improved and we will hopeful get a good evaluation with the speech therapist in a couple of weeks. He still will only talk for us and takes awhile to warm up to other but we had a good breakthrough on Thanksgiving and are hopeful.

Celebrate and Big Boy Pants

This week has been better! We had a dentist appt and everything went fine! NO CAVITIES!!!!! A time to celebrate. We also while waiting for PT to get out of school got some big boy underwear and have been wearing them the rest of the week! Since he picked them out, that was the trigger for him! Yeah! Next goal to be accident free for a week!

Seven Weeks Home

We have survived being home for seven weeks. It is hard to believe that much time has passed. We are having more good day versus challenging ones. I wish I could say everything is great. I will be honest. I got to learn to let go of some things. Language barrier is one I need to just be a little more understanding. I know he understand a lot and is really starting to mimic but he needs more time. I hoping once he gets in a classroom setting he will have more immersion and this will help. He repeat a lot of words and we can understand his attempts but most people cannot. He was evaluated by the Plastic Surgeon and he says everything looks great. Will probably do a revision before kindergarten. We will have his team meeting on October 1st and will post more about that later. We keep getting the run around to have him evaluated by the school district. We were schedule to have a meeting the 11th but they asked if we could postpone until the 25th. I voiced my frustration and told them I will just wait for the team meeting before coming to them. Maybe I should give them the benefit of the doubt but I send my DD to private school because of the things CA schools do. Yes we live in a area with good schools but I worked for LAUSD as a consultant for 8 years and saw the waste and know more than I should about my local district. I realize they are working with the limited budget that they get and I know it is beyond their control. I digress! So will call after October 1st and will try again later. I have him in a gymnastic to help with his gross motor skills and we have all the Speech Therapy tools when PT did speech. He does not seem to have any issues there just needs immersion.

PT is getting to like her brother more. She is tolerating him and even saying he is cute when he does certain things. I should have spent more time reading on her transition than his. This has been most of my struggles. I try and remember that she had 6 1/2 years of our undivided attention and now has to share. I knew she would regress but how she regress was not expected.

Thankfully I am reading other adoptive moms struggles and it has helped me with my issues. As I said earlier I need to learn to let things go. Being a Project Manager for a number of years, you always learned to solve problems. But LM problems are not a easy fix and time is the best. I really miss having some me time and am trying to work some in. I forgot how busy we are once school starts. PT has gymnastics and music outside of school. We are working on time schedule that works. The kids have decided that the 15 minutes Mom has in the morning to herself is a no go. They keep waking up earlier each time I wake up earlier and I have given up that so begging hubby to take them when he gets home but again PT schedule interferes with my me time. At least I have the hour she is in gymnastics this gives me some time with other adults. Things will come with time. I just need to get a good schedule going. Then I will work out my issues. At least I can say I have not gained any of the weight I have lost during the trip to China. I am getting more exercise with this one. He keeps me on my toes. He also likes to take walks but not everyday. He really likes the jogging stroller and that helps with me getting more exercise too. I get an upper body work out pushing the stroller up the hills we live in. Problem is the air quality is not so good with the Station fire. We do not live that close but the jet stream brings ashes and debris our way. You can see ashes on the car some mornings. So far my allergies are not flaring to bad.

Potty training is my other item which is slow in coming. We were told he was potty trained and just had a pull-up for travel. Well he regressed which was to be expected. When you think that we is ready to go again, he takes a few steps backwards. He is just too comfortable in a pullup and too busy to go to the restroom. He also drinks a lot of water and seem to need to urinate every 15 minutes which also has made pullup easier for him since he does not have to stop and go. I tried training pants and after the 4th clothing change before lunch I decided he is not ready. The preschool we want to send him requires that he be potty trained and can not send he there until he is. Due the dependent care deduction that DH has we need to get him into preschool as soon as possible. I do not want to make this an issue and will give him the time he needs. So I am research other preschool which will take him without being potty trained.

Last Day of Summer Vacation

We spent the last day of summer vacation at the beach. It was LM first time to the beach. Since the beach was at a military installation, I was unable to get pictures of his first time at the beach. He is very unsure of the ocean. He screamed when the waves got close and I was holding him. He would laugh at PT when she went into the waves. I finally got him to touch but that was it. Finally LM had fun playing in the sand away from the waves. We got to see sea lions, dolphins and many different waterfowl. LM did not seem that interested in them. He was just happy playing in the sand. PT was happy to have the waves to herself but ended up playing in the sand with LM.

Three Week Update

Asleep eating noodles

Cool Man riding my Hot Wheels

Look at me go

It is hard to believe that we came home three weeks ago. Things are progressing well. LM has his moments but they are overshadowed by the hugs and kisses! He is all boy! PT was active but never this active. He is constantly on the go! Only a few accidents but one major one which ended up as a nice knot and cut in his head. His gross motor skills are slowly catching up. Thus until they do, I expect more falls, bumps and bruises. We have finally figured out the sleep pattern and naps. He wanted DH for nap today! That is a first. When DH is at work he is happy to have Mom but on the weekends he follow DH everywhere. Sleep time is also DH time. It will be interesting when DH start to travel again. DH is going to miss PT first days as a first grader. He has to fly back to the east coast. I see exhaustion on my part until he gets home. Jet lag took until two week before it got better for me. I also think I was drinking too much caffeine before bedtime. We started swim lessons this week for LM. He seems ok with the water but gets exhausted quickly. It sort of helps with sleep time since we have lesson early evening 5:50 to 6:20. We eat then bath and go to bed. Things have slowed down on the eating aspect also. I think he has maxed out. He is eating more normal for a three year old. The ped. said everything looks good. He is 70% in weight and 20% in height on the American charts. Can you say linebacker. They are predicting he will be about 5' 7" to 5' 9". He might actually be taller than DH or at least the same size! ENT appointment went ok. He thinks there might be fluid in the ears but will wait and see until this fall. We have hearing test schedule for Nov and this will tell how his hearing is and if we need tubes. Ped. thought that only one ear had any fluid and even that ear was not that bad. So we can only hope, wait and see what will be next. I made an appointment with Plastic Surgeon but still not sure if I will go back to CHLA with him. PS is now out of network and I do not know if I will keep both with him. I will need to make a decision soon since the appointment is in early September. I at least need to call CHLA and see when I can get him in for a Team meeting. If I can get in sooner I probably with go with CHLA.

Will post more pictures later!

July 24th - Traveling Home!

We had breakfast as a family today. Our last breakfast in China. DH decided he wanted to go back to the shopping center to pick up a couple of things. I went to a store and picked up some Ma Ma and Ba Ba shirts since I picked up Je Je and Di Di shirts for the kids. We wore the shirt day for travel to find each other with ease. So DH left to go shopping while I finished packing in the room. He decided to save the taxi fare and walked back. When he got back we went down to see what time we could extend check out since we were not going to leave until 6 pm. We decided to take the shuttle van from the hotel and bought our tickets. We finish packing and check out. Then we left of bags at the hotel and had lunch Lucy's. We took our time eating. We then requested to get into the play room and they let us in. LM and I spent the rest of the time there until it was time to leave. DH and PT decided they would go to McD's to get the last 4 Hello Kitty's for PT collection. They left while LM and I played. They walked back. They said the shuttle was full this time going to the shopping center. Since we did not do the red couch on oath day we had our pictures taken today. We probably should of taken the earlier shuttle did not realize it would take us that long to get there. We should of realize that it was rush hour. But we still had plenty of time. Note: Save a little back for people who help with luggage at airport. We were short and only had a $50 American bill on us. Lesson learned. Again the crutches helped a little but not a security. This was the first time we had to take our shoes off at security. Getting on the plane was interesting. This is first time getting a plane that large outside. The plane left Guangzhou late and so we were late getting to LAX. LM slept 11 of the 13 hour flight. PT slept 11 also. They again were not strict about buckling in LM and he prompt fell asleep before we even got off. This time I made sure PT was wake when the food came out. On the flight to China, she missed the food and was mad and hungry. Once feed she went to sleep. LM fell of the seat once, I thought I had told DH, I had to go to the bathroom. LM fell off just as I had moved away to the bathroom. Lesson learned never trust a sleeping husband. We made to LAX without much trouble. This is one time I wished DH pride would have given in to a wheelchair. I had to carry LM since the stroller was waiting with the rest of our luggage. I had heard that LAX was a nightmare. Again we got faster service since DH was on a crutch. Then they only had one person for the immigration but he indicated that it would be faster if one parent went to get the luggage while the other wait for the paperwork. DH went for the luggage. Once he got back he took the kids to the bathroom. By the time he came back the paperwork was done and we were off to get the car. Our first stop was IN-N-Out for a hamburger and shake. LM at first did not like the car seat. He screamed all the way to In-N-Out. On the way home, we found he like the shake more than screaming and promptly fell asleep. No more screaming. We got home about 11 pm. It took everyone a while to settle down. LM did not go down until about 2 am. But it was not so bad since we all slept in until afternoon.

July 23rd - Free Day

LM liked the chair at the Video store.

PT with her McD's cup watching LM.

LM and DH again had breakfast before PT and I but we were not that far behind. Again LM and DH went to the playroom while PT and I finished our meal. Most people were going home today. Since we could not get a flight home until tomorrow we had a free day. We decided to go back to the shopping district instead of the electronic district. We took the White Swan shuttle and deciding if we wanted to walk back. We decided to take a taxi ride. The taxi ride was short and was not as bad a I remember 10 years ago when we were in China. We had lunch McD's for PT again. She really likes the Hello Kitty that they sell that are not part of the Happy Meal. DH has got ordering down to a art. Everyone seems to take pity on the man on the crutch and two kids and harried wife. They actually bring the food to our table for us. One thing about McD's is that they are very busy. It is hard to find a place to sit down. It is interesting that there is another just across the plaza. And they are both one the second level. You have escalator going up but not going down. Could not find the elevator. We did a little shopping. I was looking for a new purse but could not find one I like for the price. They were not in a bargaining mood. We both another dress for PT and a traditional outfit for LM. We got a good bargain on them. One of the few we found. Once we got back LM, PT and DH went for a swim. I decided to visit Jordon store. I found a number of bargain and was happy with my purchases. PT wanted to do a little shopping so LM and DH stayed at the pool while PT and I went back to Jordon. She found a few thing which we brought back. Off course she like the 7 eleven store it has the gum we let her have and Gatorade to drink. We have to stop and pick up some things for her there. PT wanted to try dinner at Lucy's. Menu is the same but we ordered different food. Then we went home and bathed the kids and went to bed. It seemed we were always in bed before 8 pm.

July 22nd - Oath @ Consulate

Decide to use the Ergo to go to the German restaurant. He fell asleep about half the way there. LM seemed to like it and it was better than carrying him.

LM and DH went to breakfast while PT and I slept in. It was different to just have the one child again for breakfast. I am getting used to being a family of four that just the two of us seemed weird. LM and DH spent the rest of the morning in the playroom. That was one place that was very air condition almost to the point of freezing. PT and I join them later and watch LM play. He is really opening up to DH. He has gone to both of us really well and still prefers me over DH but not as much today. I think it helped having breakfast time alone with Dad. We had lunch at the Deli Shoppe again. And did a quick swim at the pool for the kids. Then off to the consulate for taking the oath. LM was having a small fit on the bus but them promptly fell asleep. He woke up in time for the oath and seemed much happier. We really have not kept a regiment on naps will try when we get home. After the oath we decided to go dinner at Italian restaurant. The food was ok. PT liked the pizza. This is the first time I have seen her eat more than one piece. PT has never been much of a pizza eater so this was a moment. I now know LM is not much of a vegetable eater. I got a veggie soup for him and I ended up eating most of it. They had a good seafood dish I was able to eat also. LM does not seem to like pizza. Another child who does not care for pizza. We will see more when we get home. It took PT six years before she would eat it. PT and DH stopped at the playground while LM and I went home for a bath and to get ready for bed.

July 21st - CA Day

This was a quiet day. We just went swimming and hung around the hotel. We were all tired and needed a day of rest. Everything went fine with the consulate. Guide can by to has us sign a document and we were done. Just had the swearing in ceremony tomorrow. We ate lunch at Lucy's again and had dinner German restaurant. Food did remind me of what we had in Germany but that was 10 years ago. On the way back to the hotel we stopped off at the playground. PT again had a request for pictures. She is getting used to the idea and it does not bother her as much. I figured since we are in Guangzhou she would have less request but have had just as many as Nanjing.